Freak Out Mode

See this baby?  Look at him.  I can't believe this little boy is not so little anymore.  He's going to Middle School  tomorrow, and I'm having a bit of a freak out.

I honestly cannot say where the time went.  As a parent, you are living in the moment daily.  Let's face it raising children is not easy.  There were so many times when my boys were really little that it was so hard.  There were times I had to do it by myself because Erik was working out of town.  There were times I just wished it could all be over and I would have some peace and quiet.  

I didn't freak out when the boys started school.  That is a normal part of life and I was very excited for them to start.  I love school, probably why I became a teacher.  I love sitting at the table and doing homework with them in the evenings...except when they fight and pester each other, or JoJo insists he can't do it.  Overall, I love it.  But I just can't wrap my head around the fact that my oldest son will be in Middle School.  Now, we have to worry about what's cool and what's not.  No more Spongebob underwear, I guess.  We have to worry about cellphones and homework and about him doing really well so he can get high school credit in his classes, thus college credits in High School.  Now, I have to worry about him being smaller than his peers and going to sort of a rough school in town.  Now, we have to think about High School just on the horizon, and cars, and girls, and dating, and independence.  This Middle School move has me a little sad and nostalgic about how fast this life is going by, about savoring every second with the kids now.

I worry about shaping his life, about drugs, and hanging with the good kids.  I worry about him heading to each class.  Will he be tardy?  Will he be able to keep up and adjust?  Will the kids make fun of him?  I just want him to be happy and successful in school.  So, yes I am a little freaked out here.  I feel like I'm sending him off to the wolves.  I guess we'll see how tomorrow goes.  My Wolf is a very confident child, and I'm going to put my faith in our parenting so far.  I'm also going to be watching like a hawk over everything he does.  That's all we can do.  Watch, guard, listen, and appreciate every second.