I don't know where this is going...

It's funny how this blog works...how I feel compelled to share my most innermost feelings on here sometimes.  It's so strange that I won't let my husband in the room while I type what I'm going to say, but he can read it when it comes to his email inbox.  My dog is dying.  She's old, very old.  But, she's been a part of my life for the past 16 years.  I'm 31, so that makes over half of my life.  This is hard.  To make a decision to put her down.  I cannot imagine not seeing her when I come home.  There are so many things I want to remember about her...the softness of her fur.  The way her ears smell.  She has a sweet smell to her, she always has.  She is my dog.  I bought her with my grade money.  I had to train her and love her and take care of her.  She is the last part of my childhood.  (not that I want to relive it, but she is the last thing there is left.)  Even though, I'm a wife, a mother, a homeowner, a teacher, and all the things that make you grown up, she is my last strand, my last grasp at a time I can never get back.  She has been through so much with me...high school, college, marriage, children.  She is my dog, and I love her.  All the tears in the world will not preserve her, will not keep her here with me.  But, I wish they could.  I love my little old Beamer...Thank you for everything and for all of the happiness you have given me over the years.  Thank you, and I love you...   :(